The gift of listening

December 2020: my super cute dog wouldn’t stop barking, the house was a mess and I was searching for jobs and nothing was the right fit. Then a reminder popped up: a zoom call with my best friends. No need for small talk; I shared everything that was on my mind and within moments felt a weight lift off my shoulders.

We’ve all heard that giving brings us more satisfaction than receiving - and I know that this is true. But what we give, and how we give it makes a difference. 

During the season of giving, it can be hard to know what to give. As we all get overwhelmed with working, planning, traveling and celebrating, often the most valuable gift is a one of service. Being available to listen to someone who is feeling inundated with tasks, decisions and emotions can be priceless. 

Listening - and more specifically, active listening - allows a person to share what is top of mind for them without feeling rushed, judged or obligated to act. 

Active listening is

• Being prepared to listen

• Observing verbal and non-verbal messages

• Allowing silence as needed 

• Reflecting back what is said

• Asking for clarification

• Providing appropriate feedback to show you’ve heard the whole message

• Summarizing

As a leadership coach, creating a space for my clients to truly be heard provides the foundation for establishing priorities and long term goals that we can work together to achieve. This is the basis for a strong relationship that will take a person from feeling frustrated to energetically inspired and is one of the things I love most about coaching. 

As you approach the holidays and a new year, consider how you listen to the people around you. Are you truly listening or simply waiting for your turn to respond? Can you take the time to hear what someone is saying? You’ll be surprised at how much people appreciate this precious gift - which costs you nothing!